Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Ten random facts about my mom
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Remembering Raphael
"The mention of my child’s name may bring tears to my eyes,But it never fails to bring music to my ears.If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name.It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.”- Author unknown.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
You are irreplaceable, my firstborn

I can still remember the day when my baby was diagnosed with having Edward’s syndrome during the seventh month of my pregnancy. The doctor advised my husband and I to prepare, both emotionally and spiritually, for the eventuality that our baby would only have a short life here on earth, that is if we even get to meet him alive. The odds were simply stacked against Raphael. But in spite of all the preparations, nothing could have prepared me for the deluge of emotions upon seeing the lifeless body of my son. Oh how handsome he was! With wispy hair, tender features and lips as red as a rose. It was truly gut-wrenching. I felt so helpless...I could not do anything to help save my baby, the baby whom my husband and I brought to life.
While my baby’s life may have been short, I will forever be grateful for his legacy. He has taught me how to love unconditionally...the way a mother loves her child, to see beyond his physical defects, see the beautiful person inside and love him with all her heart and soul.
I’ve always wondered why God took my angel away even before we got to meet him. I have this theory that maybe my son saw heaven and wanted immediately to play with other angels. Others say that maybe the soul of my son was so beautiful that God immediately wanted him by His side. Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure – Raphael is now happy in heaven, together with my father and brother, playing happily with other angels, waiting patiently for the day he eventually gets to meet his parents.
Oh how my heart aches so much for my baby. But for now, tears are my refuge and sleep, my comfort. To my precious baby Raphael Roque, I would like you to know that we love you and you will forever reside in our hearts. You are irreplaceable, my firstborn, my sweet angel Raphael. Till we meet again.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Our Precious Angel, Raphael Roque
Dear family, friends and colleagues,
You all witnessed how happy we were for the last 7 months because the Lord blessed our union with a child in Mar’s [this is my nickname - ladybug] womb.
However, as some of you may already know, this happiness was short-lived. The 6th ultrasound 3 weeks ago showed what could be the presence of an omphalocele in our son’s stomach. We immediately searched the web and found out that an omphalocele is a congenital (found at birth) malformation in which variable amounts of abdominal contents protrude into the base of the umbilical cord, in our son’s case, his stomach and intestines. As the fetus grows in pregnancy, the intestines grow and get longer and project from the abdomen into the umbilical cord. This growth is taking place from the sixth to the tenth week of pregnancy. Normally the intestines return rapidly into the abdomen by the eleventh week of pregnancy. If this fails to happen, an omphalocele is present. However, more than half of all infants born with an omphalocele may have other birth defects. Some of these defects may be serious. This was what alarmed us instantly. We kept praying and hoping that it would just be an omphalocele, with no other complications.
We then went to see a perinatologist 2 weeks ago for a high-level ultrasound. We received more shattering news. Our son did not just have an omphalocele, he has several other congenital defects as well: hypoplastic left heart syndrome (A rare but serious congenital heart defect. It is the most common cause of death from heart disease during the first week of life.), absence of nasal bone, clubbed hands coupled with clinodactyly, among others. Presence of all these symptoms are highly suspicious for the presence of Trisomy 18. At present, further testing is deferred until Mar gives birth and the cord blood could be subjected to Karyotyping in order to fully diagnose the presence of trisomy 18.
What is Trisomy 18?
At conception, 23 chromosomes from the father and 23 chromosomes from the mother combine to create a baby with 46 chromosomes in each cell, two of each type. Each chromosome holds a particular "position" in the cell and carries certain genetic material. A trisomy occurs when a baby has three chromosomes in one position instead of the normal two.The most common trisomy is Trisomy 21, also known as Down Syndrome, where a baby has three of the twenty-first chromosome. Trisomy 18 is the second most common trisomy and occurs when a baby has three of the eighteenth chromosome. This results in 47 chromosomes instead of the normal 46 in the affected cells. It is this extra genetic material that causes the problems associated with Trisomy 18.
Trisomy 18 is also called Edwards syndrome (or Edward's syndrome) and occurs in about 1:3000 conceptions and 1:6000 live births, as 50% of those diagnosed prenatally with the condition will not survive the prenatal period. Unlike Down syndrome, Trisomy 18 is usually fatal, with most of the babies dying before birth and those who do make it to birth typically living only a few days. However, a small number of babies (<10%) live at least one year.
Most trisomies (about 95%) are full trisomies. That is, the extra chromosome occurs in every cell in the baby's body. This type of trisomy is not hereditary, and is not due to anything the parents did or did not do, and it is by far the most common type. In most literature, Trisomy 18 means full Trisomy 18.This disease has been described as “incompatible with life.”
Please don’t hesitate to ask us how we’re doing or to discuss our son’s current situation. Sometimes, talking about it is a big help. At this point, we cannot do anything but continuously pray for our son. Aside from our family, we also felt the need to inform our friends and work colleagues in order to avoid awkwardness, inform people about this disease, and more importantly, to ask for your prayers.
We hope that we get the chance to meet our son alive and for him to be baptized Raphael Roque Nuval Mance.
"Hush! My dear; lie still and slumber;Holy angels guard thy bed.Heavenly blessings without numberGently falling on thy head."- by Isaac Watts
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Happy Birthday Kuya...
Happy happy birthday! It has been a very long time since we talked and I really miss you very, very much. You've missed a lot of milestones in my life....passing the bar and becoming a lawyer, getting married and being pregnant right now. I'm so excited to tell you that you're going to have a nephew!!! I miss the way you torture me every morning by tickling me when I was still a little kid. I'm pretty sure you're going to do the same to your nephew and he is going to adore you. I just hope that you're having a grand celebration there in heaven. Don't worry, I'll tell my son stories about you so that he'll still get to know his Tito. I love you very much...
Love,
Your Little Sister
In memory of my Kuya
(17 January 1963-20 August 1993)
Sunday, September 17, 2006
A Tribute to My Husband
It's my husband's birthday today and I must admit that with all of the things that have recently happened in our lives, I was not able to prepare anything for him. I could not even cook for him because my olfactory senses simply could not stand the smell of cooking. So my husband is out right now buying food for the guests. By the way, we're not just celebrating his birthday....it's also been 5 years from the day I officially said yes to his proposal for us to date exclusively. Hahaha...uso pa ba yun ngayon? Kids these days are usually less formal. Di na uso yung panliligaw. I have to admit that I come from a different generation and I'm not familiar with the dating patterns of teens these days. But I digress.
I was surfing the net deciding on what my entry for today will be when I came across the site of Badminton Chronicles. I was reminded of this article written by Mr. Victor Belizario about my husband. I don't know Mr. Belizario personally but I was truly touched by his article. It is a fitting tribute to my husband who's celebrating his birthday right now. It also proves the importance of observing court ethics while playing badminton, and that a little help goes a long, long way. I would like to share this article with you. And to Mr. Belizario, whoever and wherever you are, my heartfelt thanks to you for sharing your story with the whole world. Here's to Jojo *toast*! Happy Birthday Honey and Happy Anniversary!
The day ee played against RP singles no. 1
By: Victor C. Belizario 17 January 2006 2:08 PMOne Sunday morning back in the early 1990s, we heard that Mang Tony was coming to join us in our weekly badminton game. He was a kababayan, a badminton buddy of my father and my uncle, but was then residing in Manila to tend to his business. He arrived with his son, Jojo, a tall and lean chap in his 20s. He's a very good player, we were told. Everybody in his family plays badminton. Hmm... that may be so, but it doesn't necessarily mean he's THAT good. Turned out that Jojo Mance was RP Singles No. 1 at the time and he was going to play with us weekend warriors! All right, I take it back. He must really be THAT good.
The venue was formerly a pelota court so only two sides were buffered against the wind and the rays of the sun. Good badminton courts were hard to find then, especially in BiƱan, Laguna so we made do despite the additional opponents – Mr. Gusts and Ms. Glare. True enough, nobody could withstand the father-and-son team. As there were practically no televised badminton matches during that era, it was my first time to watch a player move – no, glide on the court - swiftly and effortlessly, it seemed. Compared to this display of finesse, our footwork seemed like that of chickens – the decapitated variety. And his deft and deceptive strokes were remarkable to us yokels. Not to mention the hard smashes he occasionally let loose. But more astounding was his demeanor. Aggressive, but not loud-mouthed. He was no android either; he affably acknowledged good plays of his partner and even his opponents. We didn't see tantrums or self-berating scenes whenever a less-than-perfect shot was made. Which is quite rare nowadays. After the oldies, we (younger players) were next - to have a whack at it, as it were. But this time, he went one-on-two with us. Uhmmm … maybe we have a chance to beat him after all, we mused. That thought quickly vaporized when the game started and he quickly piled on the points. As my partner and I were basically all-power-and-no-strategy players then, we virtually telegraphed our intentions to him during every rally. Well … not every rally, really … there was one point when we finally got to serve. Jojo anticipated a short serve so he was poised to lunge at the net for the kill when I had begun my service motion. But I executed a pretty good flick serve, which surprised him (and most of all, me!) The shuttle sailed in a textbook offensive arc just beyond his reach and landed just inside the service court. Uh-oh. Instead of being elated, I thought grimly – now, you've done it. He's going to whip you and your partner for that. Lintek lang ang walang ganti. But surprisingly, he just laughed softly at himself and nodded at us in recognition of the point. No grimacing. No menacing grin. He even returned the shuttle to us for our next serve properly. Kakaiba talaga!? These days an opponent might slam the bird into the net in disgust or begrudgingly hit the bird back to you, i.e. hit it out of your reach. Anyone out there who could relate? Okay, okay … you can put your hands down now.
Anyway, after our single-game match, he gave us tips on footwork, grip, strokes, strategy .…. in a casual, unassuming manner. But what he didn't mention, we learned by example. Sportsmanship. Character. Play hard but still be agreeable to your opponents. Yes, even to your doubles partner….especially your doubles partner.
As we bid each other goodbye after the game, we thanked father and son for playing with us. Today, at 45, I thank them for helping me sustain my love for the sport. Just a little kindness really goes a long way, doesn't it? The final score? Ahhh ..….. oo nga pala! Jojo whipped us 15-3. Yet somehow, we all went home winners.

